


This is Not a Title

by AnonymousSpacePrince



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bets & Wagers, First Kiss, Getting Together, Johnson the Metaphysical Goalie - Freeform, M/M, Mario Kart, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 06:52:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10508556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousSpacePrince/pseuds/AnonymousSpacePrince
Summary: "Alright," Nursey says, a slow grin stretching across his face. "If you win, I'll let you post anything you want to my Instagram." Dex looks skeptical. "Literally anything. Nothing is off limits. But if I win, you have to write a poem." Dex rolls his eyes. "And you have to take it seriously."Dex and Nursey make a bet that has an unexpected result.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It was either this or _The Dick and the Asshole: A Perfect Match_. I liked that one better but was afraid it'd be misleading. I can't title for shit. Help me. This is only rated T for excessive cursing.
> 
> This fic has everything: Mario Kart, bets, a ton of bickering and chirping, poetry, kissing, Johnson. There's something for everyone.

    "Yo. Can I kiss you?"  
  
    " _What?_ "  
  
  
_**30 minutes earlier...**_

     "You're not gonna beat me at Mario Kart, man," Nursey says.

    "I'll bet anything that I can," Dex argues.  
  
    " _Anything_?"  
  
    "Within reason!"  
  
    "Alright," Nursey says, a slow grin stretching across his face. "If you win, I'll let you post anything you want to my Instagram." Dex looks skeptical. "Literally anything. Nothing is off limits."  
  
    "...Fine." One of Dex's brows stays raised.  
  
    "But if I win, you have to write a poem." Dex rolls his eyes. "And you have to take it seriously."  
  
    "This kinda feels low-stakes, man."  
  
    "Hey, you said anything within reason."  
  
    "Yeah, whatever. I get to pick the first track, though."  
  
    "Fine."  
  
    Dex chooses Rainbow Road, and as the game starts counting down, Nursey thinks they're both gonna fail miserably.  
  
    As it turns out, Nursey learns when Dex meanders the first curves with practiced drift control, he's the only one who's going to fail miserably.  
  
    By the end of the race, Nursey has yelled enough expletives to make Shitty gasp. He comes in tenth, a while after Dex came in first, and Dex laughs at him. Nursey growls, Dex raises his eyebrows in surprise, and then laughs harder.  
  
    "So all it takes is getting your ass kicked at Mario Kart to lose your chill?" Dex asks with a smirk. Nursey wants to throw his remote at him, but he doesn't.  
  
    "You haven't kicked my ass yet, asshole."  
  
    "Yeah, good luck coming back from tenth place."  
  
    "You'll see. We're playing Maple Treeway," Nursey says as the track menu comes up.  
  
    "Oh, fuck you, not fair," Dex groans.  
  
    "You started it."  
  
    "Whatever," Dex says, and begrudgingly selects Maple Treeway. "Maple Treeway sucks."  
  
    Nursey laughs. "For you, maybe."  
  
    All told, Nursey gets first place, and Dex manages to scrape into second with the help of Bullet Bill.  
  
    "Son of a bitch," Dex gripes. "Totally unfair."  
  
    "Chill," Nursey says on a laugh. "Your pick."  
  
    "I'm gonna put a dick on your Instagram," Dex mutters as he searches for the next track, and Nursey laughs.  
  
    Dex scrolls over Bowser's Castle and Nursey says, "oh god, please no." Dex looks over with an evil grin, and Nursey shakes his head. "That one is the _worst_ , please."  
  
    Dex shrugs and clicks through to the race before Nursey can stop him. When he looks back over to see the defeat on Nursey's face, he sees a smirk instead and his own grin drops. "Oh my fucking god, I can't believe I fell for that." Nursey just grins wider. "Fuck you."  
  
    "You wish," Nursey says with a snort, and Dex glares.  
  
    " _You_  wish," he says.  
  
    "Weeeaaak," Nursey sings. Dex just smacks his arm, and then the game starts.  
  
    They start off battling for the lead, but then the sudden turn around the lava takes Dex out and Nursey stays in first. "Fucking lava!" Dex yells. Nursey laughs.  
  
    Dex catches up and stays close in the second lap, but he gets knocked out by a lava geyser last minute and comes in fourth. "Fuck!"  
  
    "Ha!"  
  
    "Shut up, Nurse!"  
  
    "Make me!"  
  
    Dex scoffs. "Yeah, I'm not touching that one." Nursey laughs. "Pick a track so I can beat you."  
  
    "In your dreams, Poindexter. Go for uh... Wario's Gold Mine."  
  
    "Oh, fuck you! No way! That track is straight from Hell."  
  
    "C'mon man, it's easier than Rainbow Road."  
  
    "The hell it is!"  
  
    "Don't be a pussy, Dex," Nursey says jokingly. Dex rolls his eyes and shoves him. Nursey shoves back, but stops when his phone buzzes. He takes it out of his pocket and looks confused at it for a solid minute before Dex snaps him out of it.  
  
    "Dude, what?"  
  
    "Oh, Shitty texted. He said that calling people pussies is problematic and misogynistic, and inaccurate because vaginas are like the strongest, most durable shit ever."  
  
    "Uh," Dex says. "How did he know? He's not here, is he?"  
  
    "Nah, he says Johnson told him."  
  
    "I-" Dex shakes his head. "Okay, I feel like it's better to not question that."  
  
    "Yeah. I guess I'm just gonna call you a dick from here on out." Nursey snickers and Dex shoves him again.  
  
    "Asshole," Dex says.  
  
    "We're made for each other!" Nursey exclaims, unable to contain a barking laugh.  
  
    Dex takes a second to get the joke, and then his face fights hard between the frown he tries to put on and the smile that tries to be seen. "You're the _worst_ ," Dex says.  
  
    "Yeah yeah, quit stalling and click Wario's Gold Mine," Nursey says easily.  
  
    "Ugh," Dex responds, and reluctantly clicks through to the track.  
  
    Nursey easily wins, without falling once, and Dex manages to take it carefully, only fall thrice, and come in third. As the tallies come up and show Nursey as the overall winner by three points, Dex groans. Nursey cheers, and then laughs. "No dicks on my Instagram, then."  
  
    "Not planning on taking any selfies?" Dex shoots back.  
  
     "Aw, you're just bitter because you have to crack into that icy soul of yours and find something poetic to put on paper."  
  
    "Ugh," Dex says. "Even what you just said is too poetic for me."  
  
    "Sucks for you; a bet's a bet."  
  
    "Uuuugh."  
  
    Nursey supplies Dex with an empty notebook page and a pen, and Dex groans. "Quit bitching," Nursey teases.  
  
    "I have to write it on actual paper? Doesn't everyone type their poems these days?"  
  
    "Nope."  
  
    "My handwriting is illegible."  
  
    "The mark of a truly great poet," Nursey shoots back.  
  
    "Ugh, Nursey, I don't know poetry."  
  
    "Just write what you feel, and make it sound pretty."  
  
    "I feel anger," Dex deadpans. "Towards you."  
  
    Nursey laughs. "So write your anger; people love poems about anger."  
  
    Dex glares unblinkingly for a long moment, and then scribbles one line and holds it up in front of Nursey's face.  
  
    " _I don't know what I'm doing_ ," Nursey reads. "I know you're trying to be difficult, but that's a dece starting line."  
  
    Dex throws the pen at Nursey. Nursey politely hands it back. Dex throws it again. Nursey draws a heart on Dex's arm and Dex snatches the pen back. "Stop; people are gonna think I'm approachable and loving!"  
  
    "Oh no, I've doomed everyone."  
  
    "Asshole."  
  
    "Dick."  
  
    "Touché. Write."  
  
    "I have no creative inspiration."  
  
    "Shh, just think. Let it come to you."  
  
    Dex frowns at the paper in silence for a few minutes, and then huffs. "Nothing. There is nothing. I have nothing."  
  
    Nursey chuckles softly and takes the notebook and pen from Dex. "Okay, it's easy once you get in the mindset. You just have to let the words come to you. The trick is to not chase them, just let your mind wander until something flows."  
  
    "Yeah, that's not a thing I can do."  
  
    "Anyone can do it." Nursey flips to an empty page and taps the pen lightly against it while he thinks. Dex starts to argue, but Nursey smacks his arm and says, "hush, I'm thinking." Dex hits him back but stays quiet.  
  
    After a few moments, Nursey starts writing. Dex tries to see what he's putting down, but the angle and the position of Nursey's hands makes it impossible. Nursey pauses for a minute, starts writing again, and then tosses the notebook onto Dex's lap. "It's not much, and it's not great, but you get the idea."  
  
    "The dim glow of the streetlight through the window / feels like a watered down version of home," Dex reads aloud. "We're dead in suburbia / and this is everything I never had growing up. / The big house speaks of family, not magazine covers, / and the stars can be seen for miles here." Dex looks up and scowls, but his eyes are soft. "How? How do you just pull something that good out of your ass?"  
  
    The corner of Nursey's mouth tips up, just a little hint of a smile. "You think it's good?"  
  
    "Yeah, man. Poetry isn't my thing, but that doesn't mean I can't tell when it's good. But I can't write it for shit, clearly."  
  
    "Okay, look, just look around for inspiration. I looked at the window, I thought about how the light comes in at night, and it led to what I wrote. Just shut off your dumb analytical mind and don't overthink it."  
  
    "Ugh." Dex snatches the notebook back and flips back to his page. "Fuck, okay..." Dex looks around blankly at the walls.  
  
    "Just let it come naturally, remember, don't force it."  
  
    "Okay," Dex says. He looks down at the words he's already written. "I really don't know what I'm doing," he mutters. "But I guess nobody really does, do they?"  
  
    "That's good," Nursey encourages.  
  
    "Huh?"  
  
    "You should write that down."  
  
    "Oh, okay." Dex writes the words down, and then adds more to the page. He keeps writing for a moment, and then pauses and looks down at the paper.  
  
    "Yo." Dex looks up at Nursey, who has an unfamiliar look on his face. "Can I kiss you?"  
  
    Dex nearly screams; he wasn't expecting that. " _What?_ "  
  
    "It's just that, like, you look really cute like that; you looked like you were pretty into what you're writing. And it really made me want to kiss you."  
  
    "Oh," Dex says. "Uh, wow. Huh."  
  
    "Are you-?"  
  
    "I'm processing," Dex says.  
  
    "Okay."  
  
    They sit in a mildly-uncomfortable silence that seems to stretch on for a while, before Dex scribbles something else down on the paper and then closes the notebook. "Okay," he says.  
  
    "Done processing?"  
  
    "Yeah."  
  
    "What's the plan here?" Nursey asks. "Can I kiss you, or are we gonna pretend none of this ever happened, or is there a third option I'm not thinking of? Wait, is the third option you murdering me?"  
  
    Dex barks a sudden, bright laugh. "I'm not gonna murder you, idiot."  
  
    "Oh. Good."  
  
    "I think I want you to kiss me."  
  
    Nursey brightens. "Oh! You think, or...?"  
  
    "I want you to kiss me, asshole. Don't be difficult."  
  
    Nursey cracks a grin. "Just making sure." He turns so he's facing Dex better, and puts a hand on his cheek. Dex is looking at him, eyes wide open and almost sunny in colour. His skin is soft and smooth under Nursey's fingers. Dex leans in a little; sets a hand on Nursey's opposite cheek. "You sure about this? It could make our whole friendship weird."  
  
    "If it's gonna be weird, it's already too late," Dex says, and then kisses Nursey. It's a soft, blind press of lips that only lasts a few seconds before he pulls away again. "Oh, shit."  
  
    "Yeah," Nursey says. He leans in and kisses Dex again. It's a longer, slower thing this time, a series of gentle presses of barely-parted, slightly chapped, pillow-soft lips. "Glad I asked," Nursey says when they separate again.  
  
    "Yeah, I'm glad you did too," Dex agrees. "We should do that again."  
  
    "Definitely," Nursey says. "But first, read me your poem."

* * *

  
    _I don't know what I'm doing,_  
_but then, neither does anyone,_  
_do they? Not really._  
_We're all cluelessly gliding,_  
_waiting for the next check._  
  
_Some of us write out_  
_beautiful metaphors,_  
_and some of us put fucking_  
_hockey references in poetry,_  
_but we're all leaving our mark._

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning is maybe a little weird because it took me a good minute to groove with this, but I like the way it turned out for the most part. As usual, the poetry is all mine, so if you steal it, you die.


End file.
